The Middle

"Daddy, am I still the middle child?" my five-year-old granddaughter asked her father.  I guess she's still getting used to her new status since her baby brother was born 15 months ago. I'm not sure if she thinks it's a favored position or a less desirable one!

There are many studies that show birth order has a big influence on who we are and the effect it has on our personality. Typically, firstborns are leaders, conscientious, and mature, as compared to secondborns who tend to be happy-go-lucky, outgoing and a little rebellious.  All, supposedly, because of the way they are treated by their parents, who are probably up-tight with the first, and relaxed with the second and succeeding children.  And parents may treat the first child like a little adult, while the others are allowed more childlike ways.

Lastborns, as the baby of the family,  are often the favored child, especially as seen in the eyes of their siblings.  My husband was a lastborn, also a third child.  However, there was considerable space between him and his two brothers, so he grew up more like a first or only child, but still with some benefits of the "baby."

Our son, Benjamin (aka Jamie) was the youngest of six.  I, also, was a sixth child.  But I think I felt more like a middle child, in that I felt lost in the shuffle of five older siblings and five younger ones.  In a way, being an older sister to five younger brothers  made me feel like a first child, while being the younger sister of the others, the "baby girl," probably made  me a little dependent.

The boy-girl-boy, boy-girl-boy, configuration of my children's births no doubt had some effect on their environment.  The first child followed the typical pattern of oldest child: responsible, serious, mature, while the second one was definitely more laid back.  The close proximity in age of the two middle boys caused a natural alliance of friendship between them.  The last two were almost like only children, being boy and girl with little common interests.  Our daughter was  precise and serious, but the "baby" was laid back and care free, for the most part.

A niece of mine and friend on Facebook keyed in on some references to childhood events I had made in a blog, and soon we were comparing her memories from her late mother, one of my sisters. She was older than me, so many of my thoughts were from the frame of reference of a younger sister.  But as I grew up, my sister related to me as a teen, and finally as a contemporary after we were married. To her children, I am an aunt from an older generation, although they feel more like contemporaries to me.

First, middle or last of a dozen, we are all special to God.  He knew us before we were even conceived, Jeremiah 1:5, "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee." Psalm 139:13-18 speaks of God's oversight and care for us before we were born. These psalms by David say we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that God thinks of us constantly.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end," Jeremiah 29:11. (Some versions say "to give you a hope and a future.") So whether Maddie is still the middle child or not, she can rest assured she is still in the middle of God's thoughts and plans for her!