There is a song that's been going through my head with words about being raised up to "more than I can be." It refers to standing on mountains and being strong while on the Lord's shoulder. As I listened to the song today, thoughts swept over me and brought tears of realization of my own recent experiences.
"How do you do all this?" my husband asks me. He tells me how proud he is of me for taking care of him over the past four months after his heart surgery and other complications. And I surprise myself. But of course, it is not me, but the Lord strengthening and enabling me, not only for Howard's care, but for running the entire household without his help.
The early weeks were the hardest, when I was awakened from a dead slumber on my hospital cot several times a night to help him find comfort and relief. Medication had distorted his sense of taste, and he was constantly craving he knew not what. Off I was sent to the hospital snack room to bring back corn flakes, chocolate milk or ice cream in the middle of the night! I still provide a bedside snack to get him through the night, but he is sleeping better now!
Our house was soon overflowing with medical equipment that we made room for but still tripped over. Thankfully, most of that has been relegated to the basement now that his health has improved! The responsibility of giving and keeping up with his considerable medications is still mine, but he does more for himself now.
My spouse is amazed that I drive him everywhere (he always did the driving). It's up to me to carry in all the groceries, procure motorized carts for him, and manage to get him to church and doctor appointments. Not to mention that I have trash duty, housekeeping (vacuuming was his job) laundry and three meals a day. After a rough few weeks, I was so glad to see him take over bill paying. The slight stroke he had in surgery made those kind of things difficult for him at first.
I heard a preacher say once that when he got home some heavy furniture ( I think a piano) had been moved. "How did you do that?" he asked his wife, to which she replied, "With my hip!" I know the feeling. I had to make room for something we bought the other day, and I had no one to help me. I moved a writing desk from our dining room into the hall (taking out the drawer first), but it was a little tight. I decided to move it into the bedroom under the window, but first I had to move the tilting mirror. I wanted it where a small chest was. To move the chest, I removed the drawers and I was able to scoot it along and placed it in the hall. Howard was astonished when he saw what I had done!
Part of the song I mentioned is about being raised up to walk on stormy seas. I feel as if we've walked on stormy seas lately, but he has brought us through the storm and truly raised me to "more than I can be!"
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