Out of the (Linen) Closet

I laughed when my daughter, Amy, told me her kids all had satin sheets on their beds, thinking that was the high point in pampering children. But when I was there at Christmas and saw the soft, luxurious shimmer on the 13-year-old’s pillow, I knew I had to have some. Especially when I found out they were only $11.99 at Ross. I had known that sleeping on a satin pillow is kind to hair-dos, and probably to complexion, as well.

All that they had at Ross’s was one set in chocolate brown, which I would have chosen, anyway. It was the same color grandson Reid had on his bed. 11-year-old Rachel had decided she didn’t like the sheets. “If your fingernails aren’t smooth they catch on them, or if your skin is rough they sound scratchy,” she explained. Her mother told me Rachel had already imperiously announced, “Tell Arlene (her mom’s household help) to put my regular sheets back on.” (She isn’t really spoiled, it just sounds like it!)

I managed to squeeze them into our carry-on by removing them from their packaging, and I must admit when I put them on the bed they were quite impressive. I couldn’t wait to slip into their satiny comfort. This promised to be better than the highest thread-count sheets. I drifted blissfully off to sleep, only to be awakened by feeling chilly later on. The comforter was still in place, but the blanket next to the sheet had slid off the bed. This morning, everything was in a tangle, and I’m second-guessing my good idea. I remembered Amy told me that when her husband’s visiting aunt and uncle slept on Reid’s bed, the man slid off into the floor!

Satin sheets probably work better for a single sleeper who doesn’t move much. Or maybe they are better in the summer time when their cool, smooth surface would be more welcome. They definitely don’t work for a cover-pulling mate, especially since we prefer to sleep in a cold room and turn off our heat at night. If things don’t improve, I’m going to pull out our plaid flannel sheets again. I’ve been hoping to find nobility in ancestral genealogy records, but maybe I’m not ready for living (or sleeping!) in the lap of luxury yet! Come to think of it, those simple Tennessee farmers who may have dwelt in log cabins probably slept on flannel (or homespun) too!