The things you can find out at the doctor’s office! Not just from the doctor, but from the magazines in the waiting room! I thoroughly enjoyed my reading yesterday; I take two of the same magazines at home, but I had missed these articles on summer decorating, grilling recipes and beautiful gardening pieces. In an old Reader’s Digest, I read a very enlightening article about what pilots don’t tell you. I may never fly again! But the most thought provoking was an article in a news magazine about a strict Chinese mother known as “Tiger Mom”.
I had missed the hoopla when the book, Tiger Mom, by Amy Chua, came out earlier this year. Evidently many people, mothers in particular, were outraged at her style of mothering and the inference that American mothers were less competent. She believed in ruthlessly driving her children to reach their potential, never allowing play dates, sleepovers, participation in school plays, television, sleep-away camps, video games, or almost anything else most kids are involved in.
She did, however, make them practice musical instruments up to six hours a day, tolerate nothing less than an A, refuse or tear up a child-authored sentiment or drawing that she felt was less than first rate, call them insulting names and any number of other things that make western parents shudder. Her philosophy is to prepare them for life, and life is tough.
In her view, American parents coddle, over-protect, and indulge their children, producing offspring who make them less than proud in their ambitions and achievements, as show up in test scores and career aspirations. In this mindset, rather than assuming fragility in children, most Chinese mothers assume strength, and almost no price is too high to achieve the self-confidence and self-satisfaction that kids feel on reaching difficult goals.
No doubt much of what Chua espouses is true: we probably don’t push our kids hard enough. We are all capable of more than we achieve. Actually, guidelines for raising good kids are given throughout the Bible. “Train up a child in the way he should go…” doubtless encompasses nurturing a child’s gifts and bents. But one scripture admonishes that foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, and the rod of correction will drive it far from him (Proverbs 22:15). Children of Jesus’ day went to Hebrew school and had to memorize what we know as the first five books of the Bible.
Ephesians 6:1-4 gives instructions to children and fathers alike. Children are to obey their parents in the Lord, honoring their father and mother, and fathers are to “provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
Surely children’s lives can be too structured, with sports, lessons, and practices. There has to be “down” time…time to dream, to imagine, to experiment. The answer to successful child rearing must lie somewhere in the middle, keeping the Bible as our guide. (There was a Bible in the waiting room, too, but my husband was reading it!)
Friday, July 8, 2011
The Desires of Our Hearts
I found out several days ago that there is a new farmer’s market opening in nearby Newkirk, and local authors (later expanded to Oklahoma authors) are invited to have a book table there. It sounded enticing, but I would need some kind of shelter in the open parking lot--tent, umbrella, or something. The only thing we could come up with was to borrow an umbrella table-picnic set my son had bought three or four years ago and was now in use by his mother-in-law to hold her plants.
I thought we would try a little further, so today we set out to see what might be found at mid-summer sales on lawn furniture. The first store didn’t have what we wanted (though the swing we had bought last month could be had at a greater bargain now!). We were directed to Lowe’s, and they had beautiful market umbrellas and tables, but, even reduced, were quite pricey. Discouraged, I was considering the borrowed equipment or to just not participate.
Then I remembered something else we had been looking for, something I had wanted for my birthday, but nobody could find. An umbrella clothesline. We’d since heard that Ace Hardware had them. Sure enough, they did, and I got one! “Look, Howard,” I said as I pointed to a display on the way to the check-out, “a butterfly net!” He had been wanting a net to scoop leaves, larvae or fish from his backyard pool. I knew I used to buy butterfly nets for my children and figured it would be a cheap alternative, but neither Walmart nor anyone else had them. And here was one for $1.79! It went in our basket.
Exiting the store, I practically ran into a display in the entry. “Party Poppers,” the label on several tall cartons read, showing a picture of an easy-setup party tent! Just what I needed, but still a little expensive. Then I noticed it had been reduced by 40%! This was really turning out to be my day! That would be much better than an umbrella, so it looks like I’ll be able to participate in the book event next week after all!
I love that about God. He knows just what we need, from something as small as a butterfly net, as mundane as a lowly clothesline (I got clothespins, too, and I’m positively excited!) to something as important as a market shelter--and He often has something better in mind! Life with Him is an exciting journey that is full of surprises!
I thought we would try a little further, so today we set out to see what might be found at mid-summer sales on lawn furniture. The first store didn’t have what we wanted (though the swing we had bought last month could be had at a greater bargain now!). We were directed to Lowe’s, and they had beautiful market umbrellas and tables, but, even reduced, were quite pricey. Discouraged, I was considering the borrowed equipment or to just not participate.
Then I remembered something else we had been looking for, something I had wanted for my birthday, but nobody could find. An umbrella clothesline. We’d since heard that Ace Hardware had them. Sure enough, they did, and I got one! “Look, Howard,” I said as I pointed to a display on the way to the check-out, “a butterfly net!” He had been wanting a net to scoop leaves, larvae or fish from his backyard pool. I knew I used to buy butterfly nets for my children and figured it would be a cheap alternative, but neither Walmart nor anyone else had them. And here was one for $1.79! It went in our basket.
Exiting the store, I practically ran into a display in the entry. “Party Poppers,” the label on several tall cartons read, showing a picture of an easy-setup party tent! Just what I needed, but still a little expensive. Then I noticed it had been reduced by 40%! This was really turning out to be my day! That would be much better than an umbrella, so it looks like I’ll be able to participate in the book event next week after all!
I love that about God. He knows just what we need, from something as small as a butterfly net, as mundane as a lowly clothesline (I got clothespins, too, and I’m positively excited!) to something as important as a market shelter--and He often has something better in mind! Life with Him is an exciting journey that is full of surprises!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Homegoing
“We’re here today to celebrate a life well lived,” the minister was saying. And to think 24 hours ago I hadn’t even known that this person from our past had died, and now we were sitting at his memorial service.
“Listen to this funeral announcement,” my husband had said over the phone calling from the store where he works. He read a familiar name from the obituary column and said, “We’re going to that tomorrow. Call the funeral home in Blackwell and find out the time of the service.”
Even though we hadn’t seen Don in maybe 15 years, and then briefly, and not for 40 years before that, our memories of him were as fresh as ever. I was just a teenager when he had come home from the Air Force with my brother. He seemed comfortable with our family and just stayed, even though he was raised elsewhere. Before we knew it, he was ingrained in our family life, attending church and dating one of my girlfriends. My boyfriend and future husband and I, along with my brother and his girl, often ran around with them on “triple dates”. They were married when she was still in high school.
With their new lives, I didn’t see them as much, and before long, I had graduated and married a year later with a life of my own. Our lives took different paths, and I didn’t see my girlfriend until a couple of years ago, after we had moved back into the area and began attending the same Bible study. The couple had been divorced by then, each having new families. I saw pictures of their children together, though, and their six strapping grandsons, now with families of their own.
Those same grandsons sat in front of us at the services today, and the familiar set of their heads marked them as part of Don’s family. Then I saw his son, and it was like looking at a young Don. Many memories were shared at the service, and I got a glimpse into the solid citizen our friend had become in his adopted home town. His witty personality was referenced, and I could just hear him again in the amusing anecdotes from his family.
He had enjoyed hunting, and bought each grandson a shotgun when they turned 10. He was an avid reader, a member of civic organizations, a loving father and stepfather who bought his stepdaughter her first banana split and gave her a kitten (though he didn’t like pets) and a bike. Described as generous and a mentor to the young, I could see all that in the person we used to know.
Especially gratifying were the remarks pertaining to his love of Scripture. He had read the Bible through twice and took much comfort in reflecting on pertinent passages in his last illness. He said he was ready to go. And he did, this time to his real “home town”.
“Listen to this funeral announcement,” my husband had said over the phone calling from the store where he works. He read a familiar name from the obituary column and said, “We’re going to that tomorrow. Call the funeral home in Blackwell and find out the time of the service.”
Even though we hadn’t seen Don in maybe 15 years, and then briefly, and not for 40 years before that, our memories of him were as fresh as ever. I was just a teenager when he had come home from the Air Force with my brother. He seemed comfortable with our family and just stayed, even though he was raised elsewhere. Before we knew it, he was ingrained in our family life, attending church and dating one of my girlfriends. My boyfriend and future husband and I, along with my brother and his girl, often ran around with them on “triple dates”. They were married when she was still in high school.
With their new lives, I didn’t see them as much, and before long, I had graduated and married a year later with a life of my own. Our lives took different paths, and I didn’t see my girlfriend until a couple of years ago, after we had moved back into the area and began attending the same Bible study. The couple had been divorced by then, each having new families. I saw pictures of their children together, though, and their six strapping grandsons, now with families of their own.
Those same grandsons sat in front of us at the services today, and the familiar set of their heads marked them as part of Don’s family. Then I saw his son, and it was like looking at a young Don. Many memories were shared at the service, and I got a glimpse into the solid citizen our friend had become in his adopted home town. His witty personality was referenced, and I could just hear him again in the amusing anecdotes from his family.
He had enjoyed hunting, and bought each grandson a shotgun when they turned 10. He was an avid reader, a member of civic organizations, a loving father and stepfather who bought his stepdaughter her first banana split and gave her a kitten (though he didn’t like pets) and a bike. Described as generous and a mentor to the young, I could see all that in the person we used to know.
Especially gratifying were the remarks pertaining to his love of Scripture. He had read the Bible through twice and took much comfort in reflecting on pertinent passages in his last illness. He said he was ready to go. And he did, this time to his real “home town”.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Fiasco on the Fourth
“Joanna’s at the hospital,” our son Greg announced somberly when he got off his cell phone. We had been waiting for her and the kids to show up for our cook-out.
“At the hospital!” I exclaimed in alarm. “Are they alright?” I was afraid there had been a car accident. Our daughter-in-law and our grandchildren had had an unexpected trip to Tulsa and were on their way back.
“Yes, they were looking for us!” he replied.
Oh, no! Greg had wanted his dad and me to jump in his truck and go for a quick ride to show us something. He said we would have plenty of time before the others got to our house for our 4th of July cook-out we were planning. I found I couldn’t fit my splinted leg into the space I would occupy in the middle of the pickup seat, with Howard on the outside. “We’ll just take our car,” Howard said.
Joanna explained in exasperation when she drove up. “I saw Greg’s truck sitting in front of your house, but your car was gone. We heard the dog barking inside, but we couldn’t get in.” Since she couldn’t reach us by phone, she said she had reasoned that someone had had an emergency, and Greg couldn’t get us all into the truck and we had taken the car!
Well, she got that part right, but I felt bad for having put them through that. Our little excursion had taken more time than we thought, and they had arrived sooner than expected. To make matters worse, I had gone out without my purse or phone, and in our quick departure, Greg had left his phone in his truck.
The kids were tired and a bit disgruntled, but sitting by the backyard pond while ribs sizzled on the grill soon restored everyone’s spirits. They had stopped by their house and got Allison’s cat, Sunshine; their dog, Pebbles, was already here. Their antics had us smiling soon enough, as the cat scampered up a tree or hid beneath a poolside fern, while Pebbles darted around him in friendly banter.
When the food was done, we went inside to enjoy our meal in the cool air-conditioning, topping it off with fresh peach pie and ice cream. Adam, 17, excused himself from the table a little early, as he had a pressing engagement with some pyrotechnics, and the fourth of July was a date he refused to stand up! The rest of us lingered, grateful for a safe family celebration, despite the mix-up earlier. All’s well that ends well, and we’d had a great finish!
“At the hospital!” I exclaimed in alarm. “Are they alright?” I was afraid there had been a car accident. Our daughter-in-law and our grandchildren had had an unexpected trip to Tulsa and were on their way back.
“Yes, they were looking for us!” he replied.
Oh, no! Greg had wanted his dad and me to jump in his truck and go for a quick ride to show us something. He said we would have plenty of time before the others got to our house for our 4th of July cook-out we were planning. I found I couldn’t fit my splinted leg into the space I would occupy in the middle of the pickup seat, with Howard on the outside. “We’ll just take our car,” Howard said.
Joanna explained in exasperation when she drove up. “I saw Greg’s truck sitting in front of your house, but your car was gone. We heard the dog barking inside, but we couldn’t get in.” Since she couldn’t reach us by phone, she said she had reasoned that someone had had an emergency, and Greg couldn’t get us all into the truck and we had taken the car!
Well, she got that part right, but I felt bad for having put them through that. Our little excursion had taken more time than we thought, and they had arrived sooner than expected. To make matters worse, I had gone out without my purse or phone, and in our quick departure, Greg had left his phone in his truck.
The kids were tired and a bit disgruntled, but sitting by the backyard pond while ribs sizzled on the grill soon restored everyone’s spirits. They had stopped by their house and got Allison’s cat, Sunshine; their dog, Pebbles, was already here. Their antics had us smiling soon enough, as the cat scampered up a tree or hid beneath a poolside fern, while Pebbles darted around him in friendly banter.
When the food was done, we went inside to enjoy our meal in the cool air-conditioning, topping it off with fresh peach pie and ice cream. Adam, 17, excused himself from the table a little early, as he had a pressing engagement with some pyrotechnics, and the fourth of July was a date he refused to stand up! The rest of us lingered, grateful for a safe family celebration, despite the mix-up earlier. All’s well that ends well, and we’d had a great finish!
Monday, July 4, 2011
Promises
“Oh, look, Howard,” I said as I pointed out the car window. It was a beautiful rainbow! A few drops of rain had begun to fall as we left the church, and now we were surrounded by heavy, dark clouds, except for a clearing in the west where the sun was breaking through. There had evidently been rain nearby, for the wind had been blowing up a storm all evening, tantalizing us with the hopes of relief from our heat wave. An elderly lady in church had even asked that we pray for the rain to fall, which we did. And now it was forthcoming.
“It’s not just one rainbow, it’s two!” I exclaimed as another multi-colored bow shadowed one end of the first one. In the vast sky over the great plain, it was possible to see the complete rainbow from beginning to end arched against the grey cloud backdrop. The rainbow. God’s promise that a flood would never destroy the earth again. It has become a symbol of promise.
I saw a Joel Osteen sermon last night on the promises of God. It was called “Putting God in Remembrance,” based on Isaiah 43:26, which says, “Put me in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified.” Joel said that we should remind God of His promises, even stating the verses, such as, “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children,” Isaiah 54:13. Or Proverbs 31: 28, “Her children shall rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”
Pastor Osteen gave the example of his little girl, who had persuaded her father to take her to Disney World. When he agreed, she said, “You promise?” So he promised. Then every day the child reminded her daddy of that promise, until he was so weary that he finally took her on the trip. (He compared it to the unjust judge in the Bible which Jesus told of in Luke 18:2, who was wearied by a widow’s constant coming until he granted her desire.)
There are countless promises in the Bible, and of course, God remembers every one of them. It would seem that by recounting them to God, we are increasing our own faith and claiming the promises as our own. We prayed in faith believing for rain last night (unlike the story of the church who met to pray for rain and they all wore sunglasses, except for one child who brought an umbrella!). And the rain came. There was at least an inch of water in our wheelbarrow this morning, and the parched grass looks green and refreshed today, as green as the stripe in the rainbow!
“It’s not just one rainbow, it’s two!” I exclaimed as another multi-colored bow shadowed one end of the first one. In the vast sky over the great plain, it was possible to see the complete rainbow from beginning to end arched against the grey cloud backdrop. The rainbow. God’s promise that a flood would never destroy the earth again. It has become a symbol of promise.
I saw a Joel Osteen sermon last night on the promises of God. It was called “Putting God in Remembrance,” based on Isaiah 43:26, which says, “Put me in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified.” Joel said that we should remind God of His promises, even stating the verses, such as, “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children,” Isaiah 54:13. Or Proverbs 31: 28, “Her children shall rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”
Pastor Osteen gave the example of his little girl, who had persuaded her father to take her to Disney World. When he agreed, she said, “You promise?” So he promised. Then every day the child reminded her daddy of that promise, until he was so weary that he finally took her on the trip. (He compared it to the unjust judge in the Bible which Jesus told of in Luke 18:2, who was wearied by a widow’s constant coming until he granted her desire.)
There are countless promises in the Bible, and of course, God remembers every one of them. It would seem that by recounting them to God, we are increasing our own faith and claiming the promises as our own. We prayed in faith believing for rain last night (unlike the story of the church who met to pray for rain and they all wore sunglasses, except for one child who brought an umbrella!). And the rain came. There was at least an inch of water in our wheelbarrow this morning, and the parched grass looks green and refreshed today, as green as the stripe in the rainbow!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
DMV Zone!
“Watch out, she’s going to run over you!” the hardware clerk warned Howard in mock fear as I tried to corral the motorized cart in Walmart today. When I surveyed the vast expanse of store space Howard wanted to cover from pharmacy to hardware, I gave in and had him get me the cart. Despite some jerky starts, I was soon sailing down the aisles with the greatest of ease! Shopping had never been like this!
I dislike shopping at Walmart because it’s so big, but especially today, when my knee was hurting under the splint. Besides the first-aid item I picked up, I had no further transactions; I was following along on “man” business behind my husband’s cart. He was looking for some hose clamps. He said something about radiator hose clamps, so first I followed him to the automotive department.
He actually wanted something bigger for his purposes, so he was directed to plumbing. Navigating there proved a little more difficult, since we reached that aisle by going down the main thoroughfare in the back. Today is July 2, and the store was so packed with shoppers pushing carts full of everything from swim paraphernalia to fix-it supplies to cook-out gear, we almost needed a traffic director. I had only a few narrow escapes.
Howard was getting a kick out of my driving. It was fun, gliding effortlessly past the intense, focused shoppers with no concerns of my own, except trying not to bump into them. I reminded him we had just seen Cars 2, last night, and he could call me Lightning McQueen. He insisted on calling me Mater, though. I liked the voice of Holly, so I wanted to be her, instead. (The so-so movie was not a good idea, since I couldn’t get comfortable and finally had to take off my splint in the dark!)
We have been trying to get fish to survive in our backyard pool, so our last stop was the aquariums. The loud “beep beep” as I backed up to get a better angle on the sharp turn announced my driving skills to one and all as I maneuvered into a side aisle while my husband discussed the merits of this or that fish with the sales associate.
At last I drove my vehicle to the check out and noticed an older man sitting on a bench watching me. “Ma’am, are you through with that?” he asked eagerly, indicating my cart. Relinquishing my ride, I said it was all his, and he gratefully clambered aboard. I knew the feeling. Walmart was so much more doable on wheels!
I dislike shopping at Walmart because it’s so big, but especially today, when my knee was hurting under the splint. Besides the first-aid item I picked up, I had no further transactions; I was following along on “man” business behind my husband’s cart. He was looking for some hose clamps. He said something about radiator hose clamps, so first I followed him to the automotive department.
He actually wanted something bigger for his purposes, so he was directed to plumbing. Navigating there proved a little more difficult, since we reached that aisle by going down the main thoroughfare in the back. Today is July 2, and the store was so packed with shoppers pushing carts full of everything from swim paraphernalia to fix-it supplies to cook-out gear, we almost needed a traffic director. I had only a few narrow escapes.
Howard was getting a kick out of my driving. It was fun, gliding effortlessly past the intense, focused shoppers with no concerns of my own, except trying not to bump into them. I reminded him we had just seen Cars 2, last night, and he could call me Lightning McQueen. He insisted on calling me Mater, though. I liked the voice of Holly, so I wanted to be her, instead. (The so-so movie was not a good idea, since I couldn’t get comfortable and finally had to take off my splint in the dark!)
We have been trying to get fish to survive in our backyard pool, so our last stop was the aquariums. The loud “beep beep” as I backed up to get a better angle on the sharp turn announced my driving skills to one and all as I maneuvered into a side aisle while my husband discussed the merits of this or that fish with the sales associate.
At last I drove my vehicle to the check out and noticed an older man sitting on a bench watching me. “Ma’am, are you through with that?” he asked eagerly, indicating my cart. Relinquishing my ride, I said it was all his, and he gratefully clambered aboard. I knew the feeling. Walmart was so much more doable on wheels!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Now, I Get It!
“You’re slower than I am,” an elderly gentleman wearing oxygen tubes said with a sympathetic smile today at the grocery store. I haven’t gone out much wearing this splint on my leg, but today we had to have groceries. The parking lot was packed, since it is the first of the month, and most of their customers were seniors. We were told once that they are busier then since that’s when a lot of people get food stamps, government checks or paychecks.
As I was going into the store, a white-haired lady looked at my leg and said, “I remember those days!” Apparently she had gotten over whatever was wrong, so maybe I will, too. It was almost lunch time when we finished shopping, and since Howard would go to work right after we got home, he suggested we get a quick bite.
I never appreciated what handicapped or temporarily impaired people have to go through until I tried to get my unbendable knee under the table in a restaurant booth. When I sat down, the stiff splint stuck out in front of me in mid air. I could hardly make it reach to prop it on the opposite seat, and putting it in the seat of my booth was too awkward. I found that out the other day when my husband wanted to eat at a Mexican restaurant. Due to a center rod under the table I couldn’t get past, I had to cramp his space by resting my foot beside him on his seat.
Getting in and out of our small sedan is a feat in itself. Exiting the car earlier, I caught my foot, twisting my knee and almost falling. Ouch! I looked like the tin man, anyway, as I had put on my roomiest capris, which stretched tight over the splint and made it look as if I had gallon cans under there. I could sympathize anew with a woman I saw in a wheel chair in that store last winter who was wearing shorts in freezing weather. She explained she couldn’t get long pants over her cast.
I had to wear jeans shorts to the doctor’s office the other day so he could put the splint on, and I wear them around home, which is much easier, even if I do wind up with one black leg. The padding on the splint adds inches, and whether I wear it over or under jeans or slacks, my leg looks positively obese! Kind of like wearing something full to hide the fat, and ending up looking fatter than if you had worn something snug that showed your true size! I shudder to think how it will look with a dress! I guess I will find out next Sunday!
Paul said he gloried in his infirmities, because in his weakness he is strong in Christ. II Corinthians 12:5, 9,10. I may not be there yet, but I do have more empathy for the infirm, and the relative inactivity of recuperation gives me more time to reflect, pray, and appreciate His goodness. A blessing in disguise!
As I was going into the store, a white-haired lady looked at my leg and said, “I remember those days!” Apparently she had gotten over whatever was wrong, so maybe I will, too. It was almost lunch time when we finished shopping, and since Howard would go to work right after we got home, he suggested we get a quick bite.
I never appreciated what handicapped or temporarily impaired people have to go through until I tried to get my unbendable knee under the table in a restaurant booth. When I sat down, the stiff splint stuck out in front of me in mid air. I could hardly make it reach to prop it on the opposite seat, and putting it in the seat of my booth was too awkward. I found that out the other day when my husband wanted to eat at a Mexican restaurant. Due to a center rod under the table I couldn’t get past, I had to cramp his space by resting my foot beside him on his seat.
Getting in and out of our small sedan is a feat in itself. Exiting the car earlier, I caught my foot, twisting my knee and almost falling. Ouch! I looked like the tin man, anyway, as I had put on my roomiest capris, which stretched tight over the splint and made it look as if I had gallon cans under there. I could sympathize anew with a woman I saw in a wheel chair in that store last winter who was wearing shorts in freezing weather. She explained she couldn’t get long pants over her cast.
I had to wear jeans shorts to the doctor’s office the other day so he could put the splint on, and I wear them around home, which is much easier, even if I do wind up with one black leg. The padding on the splint adds inches, and whether I wear it over or under jeans or slacks, my leg looks positively obese! Kind of like wearing something full to hide the fat, and ending up looking fatter than if you had worn something snug that showed your true size! I shudder to think how it will look with a dress! I guess I will find out next Sunday!
Paul said he gloried in his infirmities, because in his weakness he is strong in Christ. II Corinthians 12:5, 9,10. I may not be there yet, but I do have more empathy for the infirm, and the relative inactivity of recuperation gives me more time to reflect, pray, and appreciate His goodness. A blessing in disguise!
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